I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
