Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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