is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
