When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize