Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
