Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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