Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
