I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
