i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
