call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
