After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
