She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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