Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
