did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
