3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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