You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize