She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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