Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
