Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
