As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
