next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
