i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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