'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
