I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
