I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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