Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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