In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
