I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
