is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
