He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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