where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
