It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
