I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
