I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
