So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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