You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Who died my cat blue again?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
