he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
