epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
