Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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