Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
