You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
