I don't think brook has ever known best
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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