My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
