I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
