I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
