found the other keg... it's in the tree
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
