do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
