The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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