sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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