honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My liver just broke up with me...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
