Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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