what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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