I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
