they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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