he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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