What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hippo gnu deer
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
