So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
