i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
