my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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