No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
